The Discovery of Self

By Dorman E. Baltazar

Meditation
Meditate everyday to stay on purpose.

My introduction to Yoga and meditation manifested as a part of my Strength Training Program by my guru, mentor and Personal Trainer, Wholistic Fitness® founder e´l coche´ Steve Ilg.

Ever since I heard about meditation over a decade ago, as a competitive cyclist and a newbie to the practice of meditation and yoga, I have been in pursuit of an inner peace that would seem to elude me each time I would sit down to meditate. I wanted to experience this peace within, this moment of self-realization. Realizing I had created some sort of separation from my God. I began spending more time traveling within, to remain connected to my God and experience this inner-peace that surpasses all understanding. My intention in this life is to trust spirit and all the flows through me, in my writing, teaching, public speaking, meditation cd’s, training videos etc; judging none of it, but to remain focused on sharing the love of my God as it flows freely through all that I AM.

In the years of living and experiencing this life, I have come to realize that I am not alone. We are all one people, one human race our skin colors have no relevance in the grand scheme of our existence in this world. Since my return to Belize, the land of my birth, God has revealed to me so many times over as was the case while I lived in the US, that I need only stay on purpose and everything I would need, to share the essence of who I am is already provided. All I needed was to be consistent with my yoga and meditation practice everyday to stay on purpose. No ego, but a spirit guided human being, inspired by everyone and everything in my daily life. People would seamlessly show up out of nowhere to help my wife and I fulfill our dream of teaching yoga and meditation and to bring a more mind, body and soul conscious lifestyle here in Belize.

However my meditation practice was not as consistent as my spirit would encourage me to. My spirit would prompt me to wake in the wee hours of the morning around 4:30 am consistently for weeks at a time. I would simple roll over in bed cuddle next to my then pregnant wife and fall right back to sleep. At times it seems as though I would have to be in a desperate need for money of all things, before I would get down on my knees to pray, “dear God, please send me a miracle. You know what I have need of lord” or even realize that I had not been taking the time to travel within. Learning how to accept unconditional love can be a bit of a challenge for me at times, I find that I often subconsciously told myself that I am not worthy of all the love and support from the loving human beings in my life, I feel we have or continue to say this to ourselves. We are all worthy of unconditional love, love is or natural state. Here is Hopkins, I have come to re-learn how to let go of any worry or stress that I have brought into my life. I also realize that I had placed more value on money than the love and inner peace I had manifested in my life.

Today on this Sunday afternoon, here in Hopkins, I am sitting in the Villa Verano Beach House feeling the breeze blowing across my skin. Prepared to drive into Belize City tomorrow morning to manifest a few personal training clients and to teach High-Performance yoga as a part of my commitment to be in service to my soul and others who are making the change to live a more healthy lifestyle, to live consciously mind, body, and soul.

The more I create time in my life to sit in meditation or to practice yoga if even for half hour, I am able to fully appreciate all the blessings in my life. I am so blessed to be here now. Sharing the discovery of self as I continue of my journey to self-realization.

Truly blessed for all my teachers, especially my beautiful wife and daughter, thank you both for making me feel like the luckiest man alive.


Be blessed, be love, be still…
Om Namah Shivaya

Studies have shown that meditation has many Physiological benefits-It lowers oxygen consumption, It decreases respiratory rate, It increases blood flow and slows the heart rate, Increases exercise tolerance., Psychological benefits-Builds self-confidence, Increases serotonin level, influences mood and behaviour, Resolve phobias & fears, Helps control own thoughts, Helps with focus & concentration, Increase creativity as well as Spiritual benefits-Helps keep things in perspective, Provides peace of mind, happiness, Helps you discover your purpose just to mention a few.

The next vinyasa - Belize

Almost a week since Bee and I arrived to Dorman’s homeland and since arriving to our very own home, I feel so at peace.  The last few weeks have been more exhausting, both physically and mentally, than I was prepared for, which at times, I feel the emotions bubbling up.   But here in this place, surrounded by God’s natural beauties, the jungle and the Caribbean sea, I can’t help but come back to the clarity that is so easy to connect with here.

Driving through Belize City was heart aching – seeing kids living in poverty, as we know it in our ‘modern lives’ in North America.  Yet most of these kids do not know any different than this life.  I had no idea the conditions Dorman was living in these past 2 months, or even more, the conditions he lived in growing up.  I had already felt blessed by the home Dorman found for us, but even more after seeing the possible alternative, which makes the rats and cobwebs and other creatures a little more welcome. 

I feel so at peace here in Sittee River and I couldn’t choose a better place to bring Bee into this world.  Although the midwife I was hoping would be right, turns out not to be a midwife at all, after a few moments of fear set in, I came back to trusting everything would be ok.  As the loving nurse said yesterday ‘things may not happen as you are used to, but they will happen’.

Even though I felt it was so right to start our family near my own, in a place where I was familiar with the medical and midwifery care and surrounded by people I am close to, I already feel the peace that is created in this place.  So many of the connections Dorman has made are with people who have moved here from North America and are so excited for our baby to be born here.  They have been welcoming us as though we are family.

The ‘native’ communities that surround us need some advancement, but I also feel blessed to experience a totally different culture, and even more, to experience the culture that Dorman (and ½ of Bee) come from.  Part of me feels sad for the kids who are growing up in poverty, in homes that are holding together by a rusty nail, cement floors and a couple walls if they are lucky.  Most of the homes are on stilts, the dirt floor under the house providing shade, where they hang out in hammocks.  I feel sad that many of these kids are settling for what their parents have.  Selling fruit, cleaning yards, or other laborous jobs, most which bring in a few dollars a day, and many fathers who spend most of these few dollars on their drinking habits to only leave a enough to buy a few loaves of bread for their children to eat. 

I see the boys who are turning into men, many who have opted out of a full education, some of which truly enjoy the hard work they do – and I respect the simple lives they choose to live, I respect those who choose to work and live a respectable life.

I feel so blessed that Bee will be born in a part of the world that is still so untouched, surrounded by trees full of fruit and just a short jaunt from the ocean.   But even more blessed that she will have the opportunity to experience growing up in more than one society, supported and empowered not only by her parents but by the communities that surround her.  I feel blessed that she will be surrounded by more than just the love of her families but by people all over the world and that she will see the power of love working through her to create anything she wants to create in this world. 

I pray that our time here will impact the children of this community – to empower them to live to their full potential – to appreciate the simplicities of life but not to interpret these simplicities as the opportunity to slack off but to create more.

 

The Last 30 days.. One Step Back – One Step Forward

The Last 30 days.. One Step Back – One Step Forward

It seems like so long ago that I crossed the border back into Canada.. And although the problems that I encountered have still not been ironed out, they do not seem as trivial now that new challenges have been added to the mix.

The trip to Saskatoon from California was a LONG drive, spending a total 50 hours in a truck over 4 days! Leaving Dorman at the airport in Seattle was SO hard, and the quick stopover in Vancouver to see my very dear girls was just long enough to realize how much I miss them!

My brother was my guardian angel driving nearly 24 hours straight through the mountains, a snowstorm, freezing rain and fog, and delivering me and Baby bee safely to the very cold climate of Saskatchewan. Over the 4 days I started at a balmy 35 degrees (yes celcius) to 15 below zero!

After arriving in Sask, I hit the ground with enthusiasm, connecting with 4 studios the same week. I started subbing the next week, which softened my sadness of missing Dorman.

A long way from where I want to be, but with all the challenges that keep piling up in our life that seem to walk us one step back.. i now see even the smallest step forward as a beautiful thing!

Teaching yoga has been a god-send. The community at my friends studio “One Yoga” is so sacred and I know Dorman and I will be able to call it home and create something beautiful with the family there. I was blessed to find some part time work for a few weeks that will supplement me for now but we are praying that God will use our talents in some miraculous way so we can pay for a roof over our heads and a place to Bring Bee into this world naturally.

My prenatal yoga classes start this weekend!! – a project I am so passionate about, I have a few regular classes each week and am planning some workshops over the summer.

Now to the most important thing in my life..
Baby Bee has been dancing up a storm, which I got to witness with my eyes during my ultrasound.. she was moving so much that the Dr. could not get a good picture of her – she just wouldn’t stay still – takes after her mom&dad

I have been feeling her acrobats and surf sessions nearly every day. The other night it looked like my belly was waves on the ocean.. And the most amazing was when I went to a yoga class with live drums and flute – I was laying down for a while and every time the drummer played louder, Bee’s dance moves would get stronger! I am so in awe of this little creation!

Dorman is loving Belize – I’m sure he’ll share more soon about his daily mango and other fresh fruit fare! And teaching yoga sessions on the beach!

We do miss each other SO much – especially when we are so used to sharing hours talking each day and now only have minutes (which are usually through fuzzy connections and cost us up to $1.50 per minute!!) And Skype apparently is banned from Belize so I haven’t been able to see his face in 3D for a month (I guess that would still be 2D.. but at least more alive than this picture)!

This time apart has made me question whether we made the right decision. Spending so many nights in tears just doesn’t seem right. My refuge is a few things – I sit and write and allow my thoughts to unfold, and take some time to meditate. I always come out on the other side knowing that Dorman and I are taking steps towards our dream.

It has taken a leap of faith, sacrifice and more challenges than I would like to take on while carrying our baby, but when I look forward 2 years from now and see all that we will accomplish, this one step forward to our dream feels so right!

Please give yourself a hug for me – I could use one

Love, peace, laughter and sunshine
Shantel and Bee

I have a good life

This journey that will create distance between us has begun, and each day brings a new challenge - this path filled with more challenges that I would like to take on. And at this time of raging hormones, it has been easy for me to look at all that can possibly go wrong, even when i KNOW that focusing on the big picture (D, Bee and I together, perservering, prospering, loving, living, healthy) is what will make these challenges seem small in this big world. I am blessed to have a God-loving yogi that continues to remind me to focus on 'the prize' with a bright and open heart.

This world seems even larger as I look out the window at snow covered land and barren trees while Dorman prepares to fly even further away to a land filled with many of my favorite things - mango's and coconuts straight from the tree and fish swimming in a clear blue sea!

I feel so blessed to be surrounded by loving family and friends at this life changing time, and will BE HERE, while I am HERE. It also warms my heart at the vision of my children growing up experiencing more than one culture, more than one land.

We face decisions each day that seem like they will break us and I see my friends each with their own journey, their own challenges yet we all seem to make it through ok, maybe not like we dream or hope, but OK. I hope for each of us that we can look at our lives and say "I have a good life" and "I am proud of each challenge I have overcome and greatful for the knowledge I have gained from each community I have been blessed to be a part of"

Sending lots of Love and missing those of you that are not near enough to touch

Shantel

Getting Grounded

For years I have longed for the day when I would return to my coastal birthplace of Stann Creek, Belize. But always seem to find a reason why it was not the right time for me to return.  My excuses varied from not having enough money to feelings that there was still more for me to learn here in the states. My life has been one of a wondering soul, lost in country where opportunities abound, and though I have capitalized on most of the beautiful soul gratifying opportunities in this life. I AM reminded that my life has been dedicated to that of the will of our Lord, my yoga practice is to aid in uniting my will to that of the will of GOD. My purpose is to share the love of God as it flows so effortlessly through me, to every single soul no matter where I roam.

With the conception of baby "Bee" scheduled to join us in this realm where us spiritual beings are having this human experience, I AM even more motivated and inspired to return to my coastal birthplace to get my feet firmly planted into the ground, to regain my footing so to speak. 

Life has provided me with experiences untold, taught me to be good with who I AM, to always send positive vibrations out into the universe and to always love like I have never loved before.

I AM very excited that in this life Shantel and I have done the work that has brought us together and provided us with the blessed opportunity to be loving conscious parents to baby "Bee".  Despite all of the challenges that seem to come out of nowhere, as a team and partners in this life. We are confident and blessed to know that all is well...

One love all the time, be blessed, be love

Dorman

Moving into Creation

The move is so close, yet so many factors out of our control continue to make changes to the planned departure making it feel like it is a lifetime away.

As I prepare to pack up and move back to my roots, Dorman is doing the same.  The creation of life that has already begun is taking us to two separate countries, yet at least on the same continent, before bringing us even closer together than we have ever been.

Since the day Dorman and I met, we were bonded by a common dream.  It seemed that the new life that is on his or her way would require postponing that dream, but looking within, we know this is the perfect opportunity to move forward and celebrate this new beginning without any holding back.  

The list of uncertainties that are on the page of this next chapter trigger fears that make me want to grasp onto any stability or security that opens it's hand.  But I resist, knowing that taking this leap of faith with an open heart and so much love for life is the only way I'll truly appreciate all that unfolds with the turning of each page, each day.

Shantel